Saga's Website

Chapter 1

Spindle's Day in Court

Spindle squirms on the courtroom’s hard wooden bench, fruitlessly trying to get comfortable. Unfortunately, her bare, bony elven rear makes a poor cushion. She has nowhere convenient to rest the heavy iron manacles on her wrists, either, so she just has to deal with the cold metal leeching the heat from her lap. She groans. This is taking forever.

Though admittedly, that might be partly her fault. It’s not every day that there’s a naked woman in the courtroom, and Spindle can feel every eye in the room on her. Even the pretty red-headed magistrate keeps sneaking glances in between the sentences she’s handing down to the rest of the Blind Boar Circus.

This doesn’t bother Spindle, of course. She’s used to showing off for a crowd of people. It’s how she makes most of her money. Or, rather, how the Circus makes the money it pays her with. Made the money it used to pay her with. The past tense feels more appropriate now, she reflects, looking down the line of hardened crooks beside her. A line that’s shrinking as the Circus’s members are sent to the dungeon or the stocks one by one.

Finally, only Spindle remains on the bench. The magistrate clears her throat. “If the… final defendant could proceed to the podium,” she orders. “State your name, or what you wish to be called.”

“Spindle,” Spindle announces calmly, heaving herself to her feet and crossing to the podium opposite the magistrate’s tall desk.

The magistrate shuffles some parchments around and clears her throat again. Her cheeks are pink. “Before we begin, be aware that the podium in this court is ensorcelled with Truth. For as long as you stand upon it, you are incapable of falsehood. If you choose, you may preserve your dignity by refusing to speak, but in doing so, you will forfeit your right to mount a defense. Is that clear?”

“Yeah, I got it.” Spindle rests the manacle on the podium shelf. Finally, some support. “Got it the last twenty times you said it to the other guys.”

The magistrate nods. “Indeed, these proceedings have been rather protracted. Very well. I will wrap this up quickly, since you clearly have someplace better to be,” she deadpans. The crowd titters. “Miss Spindle, the sheriff’s office reports that you were detained in the barracks of Calmus Harr’s personal guardsmen, located at the southeastern corner of his property. Is this correct?”

“Yep.” No point in hiding that. “It’s a shame your dog burst in when he did. I was having fun.”

“Mhm, yes, I’m informed you were.” The magistrate stifles a cough. “So you were not coerced into performing those sex acts?”

“Nope.”

“Well, that’s good, at least. Tell me, Miss Spindle, do you have any affiliation with the Blind Boar Circus?”

Spindle says nothing.

“Your silence is noted,” the magistrate replies, after a moment. “The assertion against you stands unopposed. Did you enter that barracks with the intent of distracting the guards from an act of burglary being performed on the premises by other members of the Circus?”

Spindle keeps her mouth shut.

“Your silence is noted. The assertion against you stands unopposed. Is this the first time you have participated in an endeavor of this kind?”

“What, getting gangbanged? I do that all the time.”

The crowd gets a smidge rowdier. The magistrate sonorously claps her hands to chastise them. “Quiet, please. Allow me to rephrase my question. Is this the first time you have aided the Blind Boar Circus by… offering your body as a distraction?”

Spindle stares levelly at the magistrate. “You seem awful fixated on how I like to get fucked.”

“I-I’m not—” The magistrate sighs. “Your silence on the actual topic of the question is noted. The assertion against you stands unopposed. Have you ever participated in an operation like this as a burglar, or do you always serve in the same role?”

“I’ve never once broken into someone’s house with the Blind Boar Circus to take stuff.”

“Mmm. I see.” The magistrate almost sounds… put out by this. “Do you receive monetary recompense from the Blind Boar Circus for your activities?”

“Are you asking if I’m a prostitute? I wasn’t aware that was a crime.”

The crowd oohs. Spindle belatedly realizes that her flippant sass actually constituted a dire accusation. Besmirching the honor of the Harlot’s Guild is a major no-no in this city, the home of its founding chapter. If it gets out that the magistrate tried to conflate sex work with crime, she could wind up blacklisted from every brothel in the country. Of course, whether she cares about that is another matter.

The magistrate coughs again. “No, that is not what I am asking.” A short pause, during which Spindle says nothing further. “I retract the question.” Apparently she does care. Hm. Fascinating.

The magistrate scratches at a paper with her quill for a few moments, then looks up. “Well, Miss Spindle, I cannot justify putting you in the stocks merely for having enthusiastic sex. However, it is clear to me that you cannot meaningfully refute your involvement in the Blind Boar Circus’s string of high-profile heists. Your charge of nonviolently aiding in a planned criminal act stands. I hereby sentence you to three months of remedial service.”

Spindle frowns. “Wow, thanks for going easy on me,” she snarks. The Truth sorcery doesn’t prevent her from saying it – she is grateful not to be in prison, at least. But it can’t force her to take a genuine tone.

“I believe the Ashen Sellsword Guild would be an appropriate place for someone with your craftiness and guile to serve out your sentence. Crime is not the only purpose to which those traits may be applied, and I encourage you to take this opportunity to find a less unsavory way to utilize your talent for mischief. Perhaps that will have a positive effect on your life’s trajectory.”

Spindle’s scowl deepens.

“You may descend the podium now. Deputy Dalé, please escort Miss Spindle to the Guild.”

The bald deputy standing at attention beside the magistrate’s desk salutes and moves toward Spindle. He doesn’t bat an eye at her lack of apparel. Wow, a professional. Or maybe he’s just gay.

“And, er, do ensure she is presentable before you leave. Wash that leftover paint off of her and find her some clean garments.”